Date Submitted: 4/16/00
Title of Story: "Learning By Heart Ch. 1"
Author: STORM00767@aol.com
Disclaimer: The Passions characters featured in this story are the property of NBC, Passions, and its writers. If it weren't for these people, I could not have come up with this story. This one is really more or less just dedicated to the time once Sheridan gets to Paris that was not on the show, what could have happened, etc. The story gets much more creative in the next chapter. Enjoy!
'Why do I still miss you so much?'
Sheridan admonished herself again for thinking of Luis. She knew that she should not think about him, or any other man, for that matter.
"I'm through with men!" she told herself sternly. "Never again will a man like Luis hurt me. And I'll be damned if I give him the satisfaction of pining over him!"
"Mademoiselle?" Sophie asked, shaking Sheridan from her thoughts. She had not realized she had spoken aloud.
"Yes?"
"I do not mean to disturb you Miss Crane, but I could not help overhearing. This Luis meant a great deal to you, no?" Sophie asked quietly. She had always been fascinated with American men.
Sheridan cursed herself again for being so transparent. She turned to the woman in front of her, not just a maid, but a woman who had over many years and as many broken hearts become a close friend. Sheridan just smiled as much as her aching heart allowed.
"Yes, he did, but it's over now. It's time to move on," she stated flatly, hoping it sounded more genuine than it felt.
"Tell me about him." It was more of a question than a request, but it caught Sheridan off guard none the less. Before Sheridan could protest, Sophie continued. "I have seen you hurt before, but I have never seen you so sad. Even when you left Paris last year when you found out that Jean-Luc was not only using you, but cheating on you as well. Until now I have always felt that your pride was hurt more than your heart, but now..." Sophie let the sentence hang in the air. She could see in Sheridan's eyes that she had struck a nerve. "I am sorry, Miss Crane," she said. "I should not have..."
"No, Sophie, wait. You're right," Sheridan admitted quietly. "With every other man I have ever known, I always kept my guard up. Even with Jean-Luc. Even after he asked me to marry him, I still never was able to let him into my heart completely. I just never realized it until I met Luis." Just saying his name brought a rush of emotions that threatened to swallow her soul. Perhaps sharing what happened with someone would help her to begin healing. She walked over to her purse and pulled out a picture. She handed it to Sophie.
"And the man is?" Sophie asked, smiling slyly as she gazed at the picture.
"Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald."
Sophie tried to keep her first impression masked, but Sheridan could tell that the young woman, who always fantasized about having a foreign lover, was absolutely speechless.
"This is the man you left in America?"
Sheridan smiled sadly to herself. 'I know all too well just how sexy Luis is in that picture.'
Finally Sheridan forced herself to look at the picture again. There was nothing special about the picture itself. Luis was standing beside her, the plaque he had made for her in his hand. He was looking at her with his gorgeous brown eyes, those eyes that just days before made her feel like he was not just gazing at her, but into her very soul. His other hand was casually tucked into the pocket a pair of jeans that looked like they had been custom-made to fit his extraordinary form. His black sweater hugged his chest tightly enough that it was obvious that a well toned body was beneath it. "Believe me, no matter how good he looks on the outside, he is nothing but a double-talking bastard," she stated coldly, almost as much to remind herself as to remind Sophie.
"It was love at first sight, no?" Sophie asked softly. 'I have never even met him, and I think I am in love,' she thought to herself. Her mind was brought back to reality suddenly by an unusual sound.
Sheridan was almost choking with laughter. The shocked look on Sophie's face made Sheridan calm herself down. "Actually, under the circumstances we met," and for the first time since she left Harmony, she let all of the bitter-sweet memories come rushing back.
An empty box of tissue lay on the table in front of Sheridan. The sunny afternoon had long since turned to a milky twilight. Sheridan had offered Sophie to chance to leave at certain breaks in her story (most of which were times that Sheridan found most difficult to talk about), but Sophie had refused every time. Now she looked as if she was in a trance, replaying the scenes Sheridan had described for her so vividly in her head. Finally Sophie, who had cried at every point Sheridan had broken down, now looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. Sheridan, knowing that she looked no better but too exhausted to care, smiled sadly at her friend.
"And now I'm here, keeping you all hours of the night to talk about a man that should mean nothing to me," she concluded softly.
"Forgive me, Miss Crane, but I think that you have made a terrible mistake." If Sophie had gotten up and slapped her smartly across the face, Sheridan would have been less surprised.
"W-What?!?" Sheridan demanded hotly, suddenly feeling betrayed by her companion. 'How dare she presume to judge my actions, especially after what I just told her!'
"You are in love with him." It was not a question, and Sophie did not wait for an answer. "From what you have told me, he was also in love with you." Before Sheridan could protest, Sophie drove on, determined to get her point across to her friend. "Why did he not try to charm you when he met you? Surely he could have, but instead he chose to keep his distance, just as you did. Why did he not want you involved in finding his father if he wanted to use you to that end? Why did he turn down so many obvious opportunities to benefit from you if he was only interested in using you? And why, Sheridan," Sophie asked, grabbing Sheridan's hand for emphasis and looking at her with determination, "why did he choose to save your life not once, but twice at the risk of losing his only chance to find out what happened to his father? If that was what he wanted to accomplish by manipulating you, why did he risk so much of himself for you?"
Sheridan had no answers to give. She simply sat frozen on the couch, trying to ignore the questions that had been going through her mind all along. The same questions that Sophie had said aloud. She thought back to the day of the party, when Luis gave her the plaque for finishing her community service. She had been so angry that she had not let herself notice how confused Luis seemed. When he had stopped at her cottage the next day, she had felt that he wanted to know what happened, and she knew she would have told him had Julian not come when he did.
"No!" Sheridan cried aloud. Sophie had left just as quietly as she came, and Sheridan found herself alone, more alone than she had ever been before. "It doesn't matter if he knows I know what he did," she reminded herself. "The point is, HE DID IT! I saw him, I heard him, and no matter what happened before that night, in the end, Luis is nothing more than a two-faced user, and the fact that I am still in love with him does not change that! "
Just as the words came out of her mouth, Sheridan realized that she was not alone. The hair on the back of her neck suddenly stood on end.
'It can't be, please God, it's not possible, it's not him, it's not, it's not...'
She knew who it was, even before she turned around to see those eyes that, as before, were searching her soul. And this time the fire in them was burning with an intensity, a desire that she could not have prepared for, could not have imagined, even in her most erotic dream.
"The fact that you are in love with me changes EVERYTHING," Luis whispered.
To Be Continued...
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